I'm drive I can fine osifer
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
