I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
