I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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