you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
