I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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