Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
