Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
