i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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