Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
