if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm jealous of your bromance
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
