My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
