and she was petting her beer can
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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