I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
