i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
