Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he wants to bone in the snuggie
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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