I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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