yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
