I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
