If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
