I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
