I think i sorta joined a cult last night
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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