I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
