Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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