it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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