you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
