I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
