Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
