I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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