We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
