I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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