I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
