Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
