I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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