To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
