I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
