Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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