She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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