sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
