you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
