If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
