I wish I could teleport
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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