David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
