this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
