I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
he just fucked me for my cheese..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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