The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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