I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
