Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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