Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
