i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
