I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
