We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
