All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
